as of today, i have exactly six more working days left until i become a stay-at-home mom!
i've kept this a bit under wraps because i did not notify my job until just this past friday (the official two weeks). my hours were given to a girl hired during my maternity leave and my boss refused to restore them. i work for a small business, so technically he is within the letter of the law (even the very strict california law), even though in my humble opinion that's a f&#^ed up stunt to pull. part-time rates are not available at the daycare in which we chose to place hannah [prior to notification that my hours were cut], so working 16 hours a week was netting us approximately $600 per month after all was said and done. so we chose to take the plunge and become a single-income family.
this is exciting and scary all at the same time. i'm thrilled to be able to take care of my daughter full-time, and not have to leave her with someone else to experience all of her cuteness and sweetness and life. brian feels less anxious because she will be with me instead of in daycare (he was very concerned about daycare in general, even though our place is GREAT).
but... i've never not worked. at least, not since i was 16, save the four weeks i took off when i got married and the four months i took off earlier this year when hannah was born. i've never not contributed a paycheck to our household - even when i was on leave this summer, i still received disability and pfl checks that went into our bank account. i worry about depending solely on brian's income, and i worry about my ability to budget properly for household expenses. i worry that i will end up resenting my husband, who works a very high-stress job with long, unpredictable hours, when he comes home from work and [rightly] relaxes in front of the television while i am at my wit's end trying to get dinner ready with a cranky, fussy baby who has been cranky and fussy all day long.
i know some of you who read this are or have been sahms yourselves... how do you handle these fears? any words of advice for me? i know my situation is not unique, but it is very new to me.
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3 comments:
It takes time. You do get resentful some times, but you need to talk to him. You are a team and when half of the team is resentful or hurting it hurts you both to not let that out. Make sure you have a good support system of friends around who you can call when you are having one of those days and you need either a cuppa or a drop off of TK for a bit. :) enjoy! Its the best (and hardest and worst and most amazing) job ever!
I just made the same decision for pretty much the same reason. GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE. Obviously.
I second the support system thing. I may not be able to find a mom group that fits well to save my life, but I do have a phenomenal family support system since Donald and I both grew up around here.
In addition, we don't have television, but we did have the same problem with the computer. So we instituted a family night rule. Two days a week (I choose), he comes home and just spends time with the baby and me. In exchange for those two days, I guarantee that the household chores are taken care of. It might not work out for you the same way it does for us, but maybe there's some sort of variation that will?
P.S. I'm so sorry, but I'm having issues with my Facebook inbox. It just showed me your message this morning and it won't let me reply - soooo. I'm actually a Large in those same tanks, so my nursing enormaboobs would not thank me for squeezing them into a Small. Thank you so much for thinking of me, though!
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com
yay, and congratulations! The daycare issue is a tough one, there was a time when about half of my monthly income went to paying for Lorylei's daycare, and I resented it sooo much.
Honestly I think it's much harder to stay at home with your kiddo than to drop them off at daycare, so it's important for Brian to understand that SAHM is a job, too.
I second what everyone else has said about a support system, make sure you get time for yourself on a regular basis.
I think the best advice is to try to enjoy it as much as possible(even when it's hard!) because it's the best job you'll ever have!
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