ugh, i hate that phrase. it makes it sound like my baby is a dog or something. don't worry, we'll housebreak her soon.
we were not even going to be here or do this. we hit the four-month mark and that awful four-month sleep regression, and we decided we could handle this. mostly *i* could handle this, because i was working only part-time (and for the last month, not at all) and brian has to be on top of his game every day, often 12 hours a day, sometimes 6 days a week. we started co-sleeping part-time - hannah would nurse to sleep and then go in her crib, and when she woke up screaming and hungry because i hadn't fed her in about six years, i would get up and get into bed with her. i'd nurse her back to sleep and we'd sleep there together. i read dr sears' baby sleep book which was so on target with our feelings, and thought, we can do this! sleep is not an issue! she is only a tiny baby, and she has needs, and we will do what we can to fulfill those needs. it will not be like this forever and we will cherish it while we can. sleep will come and we will not push it before she is ready.
yeah. about that.
it was kind of the perfect storm that pushed us to start sleep teaching. (doesn't that sound nicer than "sleep training?") brian was VERY uncomfortable co-sleeping, so hannah and i would sleep together on an air mattress on the floor of her room. this worked very nicely on a lot of levels: we could co-sleep but brian could still get a good night's sleep. her fussing in the middle of the night did not disturb him. his alarm and morning noise (and he is NOT quiet in the morning) did not disturb us. i wasn't sleeping with one ear cocked for the sound of her cries, because she was right there with me.
but an air mattress is only comfortable for short periods of time, and after about 6 weeks your back really starts to hurt. also, your baby gets used to nursing in the middle of the night even though she probably shouldn't need to. after a while, the achiness from the air mattress and the constant nursing and in-her-sleep fussing keeps mama awake more than she gets to sleep.
so here we are. last night was her first night of her new routine: we had some dinner (carrots) and then some nursing. then we said goodnight to daddy and went upstairs for our bath. we got changed into our jammies and read a couple stories, and then she went into her crib with her chewie and her doll gracie. i said goodnight, i love you, turned out the light and closed the door. (well, it was about 6 inches open.)
she cried for about five minutes. i thought about going in there a la ferber method - a girlfriend's pedi suggested that unlike ferber, it's okay to pick them up and comfort them - but decided to see what happened. after about five minutes of crying, she settled down into poor-pathetic-me whiny fussing for about ten minutes and then fell asleep, and mama got to watch the office in peace. hopefully we will be able to repeat that performance tonight.
we have also been trying to let her cry when she wakes up in the middle of the night, which is not really working... she usually cries for a couple minutes and then when i can see she is NOT going to self-soothe back to sleep, i go in and nurse back to sleep. she initially eats like she's a starving child in africa but then pretty quickly drops back to sleep. i'm not sure how to combat that. a couple nights ago she slept entirely through the night, but that was only once in the past five or six days since we have stopped co-sleeping. do i just let her fuss and cry, at 230a? or do i continue to nurse her back to sleep? i know most [unweaned] babies don't drop that last nighttime feeding until they are a year or so old, but does that refer to the evening "before bed" feeding or this middle-of-the-night feeding?
i will be so thankful when we are through with this stage, and yet it was sad for me to put her to sleep without nursing. just one more way she is growing up and becoming less of a baby.
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4 comments:
do you use a pacifier? they can be really helpful in getting a baby to self-soothe. The downside, as I'm sure you're aware, is that some children become dependent on them.
Lorylei had paci's since the day she was born, and finally gave them up in the last months before she turned 3.
Also, I stopped nursing at 6 months, which was hugely helpful in stopping the night time wake-up feeding. Even if you just switch to using a bottle for that feeding it might help.
Good Luck! :)
I am of little help as G didn't give up the middle of the night feeding (s) until he weaned at 16 months. But once or twice was better than the 12 times I was getting up at 9 months when we finally taught some sleep. :) Good job being able to put her down and let her fuss. 5 minutes is NOT CIO. (in my opinion) she will live and you will both be more rested.
Oh and don't get too attached to a certain way of doing things... she'll just change it again when she gets a cold or teeths or whatever. It never lasts all that long before they throw a wrench in your plans. :)
Both my boys were up in the middle of the night! I think it's good she's only up once. I think when they're breastfed it's hard to get them to go all night even though my pediatrician said they "should". I think in the middle of the night it's hard to let them cry because you just want to get back to sleep too!
nancy, that is exactly it! i just want to go back to sleep myself, so i generally give in and just nurse her back to sleep.
jaimey, i am "encouraged" that g didn't stop nightfeedings until he was weaned... maybe i will just suck it up with hannah. some days i don't mind, and then some days i just want to be done with the whole thing.
kelly, she won't take a paci. i think we maybe introduced it too late (around 4 weeks) because i had heard it could interfere with breastfeeding and i didn't want to do anything that would screw us up. we have tried periodically to give her one to see if maybe now she will take it, but she is completely disinterested. we are also planning to breastfeed until at least a year, so maybe the night feedings won't go away.
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