continued

i've been prescribed zoloft, because it's safe for breastfeeding. the doctor i saw for medication was actually very supportive of continuing to breastfeed, which made me very happy. he feels that breastfeeding has some effect in "warding off" or lessening the symptoms of depression, and also feels that weaning could exacerbate my depression as well. yay for support! i feel very uneasy taking a drug that will change the way i think, so we'll see how it goes. apparently this is a temporary albeit long-term solution. i'll be on it for a while.

the downside is, i can no longer donate. i called the milk bank to be sure and they said that unfortunately zoloft is a disqualifier. this is disappointing because i really liked donating. it made me feel good, like i was giving back to society or something. so i just sent off my last cooler of milk, 95 ounces that i had had in my freezer, pumped before i began taking the zoloft. that brings us to a total of approximately 825 ounces donated. wow! i am very proud of that. my boobs are not to be trifled with.

it's been... a week. lots of doctors' appointments, a couple very bad days. family visiting this weekend and all the stress that comes with that beforehand - cleaning, finishing christmas gifts, so on and so forth. we are very excited for hannah's first christmas and keeping busy helps. a fun visit with family, who was very supportive and understanding - my stepmother revealed that she also struggled with depression after her son was born. the women in my mommy group were also very supportive as a number of them are struggling with similar issues. the house is clean which always makes for a happy home. hannah had an excellent day yesterday - the happiest i think i've ever seen her. maybe the happy drugs are working on her too? or maybe it is just that she had a happier mom.