this is how i know the drugs are working:
this morning i woke up at 545a and laid in bed in the dark, listening to brian breathing evenly next to me. hannah cried out in her sleep and i waited for her to wake and cry more, but she didn't. just a random bad dream or something that didn't quite wake her. still, my heart ached and my stomach twisted up in knots but i tried to fight it. i got up, pulled on my sweats, and went to her room and closed the door. i lifted her out of the crib where she was dreaming, sank into the armchair, arranged some cozy blankets over us, snuggled her sleeping body into mine, and drifted off.
tell me this: who gets a perfectly quiet, SLEEPING baby out of the crib when they don't have to? who risks waking that SLEEPING child? someone who is on some damn good drugs, THAT'S WHO.
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3 comments:
Damn good drugs are a good thing when you can hear a scream from your child and then WANT to hold them not run the other direction! I do the same thing sometimes. I love my damn good drugs! :)
Like!
Also: me.
It's just that sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and it occurs to me that I will never get THIS MOMENT back, that tomorrow morning when she wakes up on her own, she'll be an ounce heavier or three feet longer or have learned a new trick.
So you either have to be on really good drugs, or you have to be a psychotic freak show. You're the first. I'm the latter.
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com
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