thank you so much for the encouragement regarding the meds and breastfeeding. i tend to be prone to uti's so we've been flushing with cranberry juice (kelly, i LOVE that trader joe's juice straight up, no water) since monday, and now who knows what it is really since my culture came back clear, yet i have all the classic symptoms. this whole postpartum thing has just all been somewhat discouraging, which i did not expect. i'm thinking this is similar to my meltdown when i was pregnant: i just did not expect it to be this hard.
i did not expect breastfeeding to be so difficult. breast is best, everyone knows that - and if it's so natural and this is what my body was designed to do, and kiddo and i were designed to work together, then why would it be hard? but it is. (and thank you jaimey for confirming that i am not insane for thinking that.) i'm getting used to that, and getting used to that makes it easier to handle and more enjoyable, especially when she wants to eat and i want to sleep. which is like ALL THE TIME.
i did not expect to need pain meds for so long. i realized today that i think i'm one of those people who just doesn't know how to sit still. i'm happiest when i'm working on a project or two or twelve. i don't know how many times during my pregnancy my doctor and my husband and my mother and who knows all else told me to slow down and take it easy. i don't know what that means. i go out of my head "taking it easy." my mother and i are both convinced that i am mildly adhd, and if there had been such a diagnosis and treatment for it when i was a kid, i would have gotten the full course. unfortunately mildly adhd does not mesh well with recovery from major abdominal surgery. so i'm probably overdoing it some or a lot. besides, asking for more pain meds makes me feel like such a junkie, hence the guilt.
i'm not sure if any of this will make sense to anyone reading. i feel so sleep deprived lately and yet oddly hyperactively energetic. i'm convinced letdown stimulates some sort of hormone that puts one to sleep, because every time she latches on i nod off. if it does make sense, well then... good. and thanks again, because i am encouraged by you.
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4 comments:
I've had a catheter twice and both times I ended up with what felt like a UTI afterwards. So, it could be that. Especially if it was really painful going in(which both of mine were). Hopefully it clears up soon.
Also, I canNOT believe you drink that juice straight!! my god! do you also shoot whiskey? :)
FYI-you can still get diagnosed with adult adhd and be treated for it.
I second Kelly. Outside of pregnancy, there was only one time I thought I had a UTI and that was after I had a catheter. My cultures came back clean and my kidneys were checked out, but in the end it turned out I was just SUPER sensitive post-catheter.
Also, about the breastfeeding, I know a woman whose nipple - areola and all - was literally SUCKED OFF. Seriously. Gone. She had a reconstructive-type attachment surgery. Poor woman.
So I'm obviously of the opinion that breastfeeding, no matter how natural and wonderful, is not right and easy and magical for everybody. Moreover, that's how wet nurses evolved: one woman managed to do what another woman could not. Don't beat yourself up about it. There isn't a single biological function out there that's easy for EVERYBODY, and breastfeeding is no different.
Besides, unless you live in China, formula is probably not going to kill your baby if you need to get a little shut eye or you're having trouble mastering the mechanics of breastfeeding. I really, really, really hope that whatever that you and Hannah are able to resolve whatever problems there are as soon as possible =)
Also, that Trader Joe's juice is awesome! I tried it out after reading the other comments on your last entry and I am in love. Best recommendation ever.
^ Also, that's me!
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com
(I feel like Sarah A. is a little confusing?)
Glad to hear your UTI is nothing, third what everyone else said, its probably from the Catheter.
Have you had any more time with a lactation consultant? It may be calming for your mind to talk to (a different) one. They can be very helpful at just making you feel more confident and like most things Bfing takes practice. Its not easy. And if in the end it doesn't work, be okay with it. Life is short I am sure you will find something else to have guilt over later, like dropping her or leaving her in a restaurant or something. :) I kid! LOL
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