i've been prescribed zoloft, because it's safe for breastfeeding. the doctor i saw for medication was actually very supportive of continuing to breastfeed, which made me very happy. he feels that breastfeeding has some effect in "warding off" or lessening the symptoms of depression, and also feels that weaning could exacerbate my depression as well. yay for support! i feel very uneasy taking a drug that will change the way i think, so we'll see how it goes. apparently this is a temporary albeit long-term solution. i'll be on it for a while.
the downside is, i can no longer donate. i called the milk bank to be sure and they said that unfortunately zoloft is a disqualifier. this is disappointing because i really liked donating. it made me feel good, like i was giving back to society or something. so i just sent off my last cooler of milk, 95 ounces that i had had in my freezer, pumped before i began taking the zoloft. that brings us to a total of approximately 825 ounces donated. wow! i am very proud of that. my boobs are not to be trifled with.
it's been... a week. lots of doctors' appointments, a couple very bad days. family visiting this weekend and all the stress that comes with that beforehand - cleaning, finishing christmas gifts, so on and so forth. we are very excited for hannah's first christmas and keeping busy helps. a fun visit with family, who was very supportive and understanding - my stepmother revealed that she also struggled with depression after her son was born. the women in my mommy group were also very supportive as a number of them are struggling with similar issues. the house is clean which always makes for a happy home. hannah had an excellent day yesterday - the happiest i think i've ever seen her. maybe the happy drugs are working on her too? or maybe it is just that she had a happier mom.
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
baby food!
whyohwhyohwhy did i wait so long to make baby food? THIS STUFF IS AWESOME. for her, i mean. but maybe also for me? could be, her applesauce is DAMN good.
i guess i was just lazy, that is the only conceivable reason i can see why people would actually buy baby food instead of making their own. since it isn't really that difficult and it is more inconvenient to go to the supermarket every time the baby needs food and Lord knows it is insanely cheaper to make it. i did want those little plastic lidded containers that the gerber baby foods come in and all things considered i'm glad i have them.
i made carrots and applesauce yesterday, butternut squash (hannah's favorite!) and turkey today. i'm planning on doing some broccoli and green beans later today, but all the ice cube trays are full right now. carrots i steamed into oblivion on the stove - i usually do mine to crsip-tender, about 8 minutes, but hers i did for 25 so they would be soft enough to puree up nicely. apples i peeled, cored, and sliced (just like for apple crisp), covered with plastic wrap and stuck in the microwave for 2 minutes per apple with about a teaspoon of water per apple. butternut squash i also did in the microwave for about 12 minutes under plastic wrap. the turkey was leftover from dinner the other night. then i just stuck them in the food processor until they were nicely pureed. the applesauce i did add about a teaspoon of lemon juice (for 3 apples) to keep them from discoloring, and the turkey needed a good bit of breastmilk to make a decent puree because it gets so dry in the refrigerator. then i just spooned the puree into ice cube trays, froze them, and then popped them out into little bags. i figure one cube is about what she eats for breakfast and about half of what she eats at night.
there's no extra crap in them, not even the water that gerber adds to thin out their puree. just plain old goodness. how awesome is that? i figure too, that if for some reason we don't get through the food i make for her - if she's decides she's allergic to something or refuses to eat something and i can't trick her into opening her mouth - it's just fruit and vegetable puree. i can add it to meatloaf, soup, smoothies, pasta sauce.
i am so wicked excited by this. it's kind of eyebrow-raising to see me. i'm on a bit of a tear. maybe because we will be making another big milk donation in the next day or so and i'm feeling like my freezer won't be full enough?
a friend told me that you're not supposed to freeze baby food in uncovered ice cube trays because the nutrients escape. it would be just my luck if this were true, especially since i don't believe it. how do they escape? do the vitamins evaporate? do they grow legs and walk away?
i guess i was just lazy, that is the only conceivable reason i can see why people would actually buy baby food instead of making their own. since it isn't really that difficult and it is more inconvenient to go to the supermarket every time the baby needs food and Lord knows it is insanely cheaper to make it. i did want those little plastic lidded containers that the gerber baby foods come in and all things considered i'm glad i have them.
i made carrots and applesauce yesterday, butternut squash (hannah's favorite!) and turkey today. i'm planning on doing some broccoli and green beans later today, but all the ice cube trays are full right now. carrots i steamed into oblivion on the stove - i usually do mine to crsip-tender, about 8 minutes, but hers i did for 25 so they would be soft enough to puree up nicely. apples i peeled, cored, and sliced (just like for apple crisp), covered with plastic wrap and stuck in the microwave for 2 minutes per apple with about a teaspoon of water per apple. butternut squash i also did in the microwave for about 12 minutes under plastic wrap. the turkey was leftover from dinner the other night. then i just stuck them in the food processor until they were nicely pureed. the applesauce i did add about a teaspoon of lemon juice (for 3 apples) to keep them from discoloring, and the turkey needed a good bit of breastmilk to make a decent puree because it gets so dry in the refrigerator. then i just spooned the puree into ice cube trays, froze them, and then popped them out into little bags. i figure one cube is about what she eats for breakfast and about half of what she eats at night.
there's no extra crap in them, not even the water that gerber adds to thin out their puree. just plain old goodness. how awesome is that? i figure too, that if for some reason we don't get through the food i make for her - if she's decides she's allergic to something or refuses to eat something and i can't trick her into opening her mouth - it's just fruit and vegetable puree. i can add it to meatloaf, soup, smoothies, pasta sauce.
i am so wicked excited by this. it's kind of eyebrow-raising to see me. i'm on a bit of a tear. maybe because we will be making another big milk donation in the next day or so and i'm feeling like my freezer won't be full enough?
a friend told me that you're not supposed to freeze baby food in uncovered ice cube trays because the nutrients escape. it would be just my luck if this were true, especially since i don't believe it. how do they escape? do the vitamins evaporate? do they grow legs and walk away?
Monday, November 23, 2009
diaper sprayer tutorial
if you are going to use cloth diapers, you'll eventually want a diaper sprayer. once we started hannah on solids, her bowel movements got a bit firmer and i did not want to put that in my washer. swishing in the toilet got very old very quickly, so i built myself a diaper sprayer. it was insanely easy, and i am so ridiculously proud of myself. a friend had suggested i could make my own very inexpensively. it cost me about $25 to make; apparently you can buy them for about twice the price and i'm thinking the only difference is that those might look a little more streamlined.
this one is from pottypail.com. it retails for $34 plus $6 s&h and you still have to do some assembly/installation. mine was cheaper and required minimal additional effort.
i actually did not use jaimey's instructions, i just could not understand them. sorry jaimey! the general idea is about the same though (i think) and there is a great video tutorial here. first, shut off the water at the main valve behind the toilet, and flush the toilet once or twice to drain the tank. then disconnect the supply line from the tank and the water pipe. you will need a flexible supply line to install your diaper sprayer; you might have to look for a toilet in your home that has a flexible line. i put ours in the upstairs bathroom closest to hannah's room.
you will need two 3/8" barb adapters; one 3/8" x 3/8" x 3/8" tee barb connector; five 1/4" - 5/8" hose clamps; one kitchen sprayer assembly; and one ball valve. the ball valve should be either 1/4" or 3/8", depending on the size of the threaded end (MIP) of the barb adapters. i got 1/4" because the 3/8" valve looked bulkier. also, you may want to measure your toilet supply line to be sure that you don't need a 1/2" tee barb connector, but apparently only about 5% of homes in america have 1/2" connectors.
you will also need a hacksaw or a small hand saw, a couple monkey wrenches or a set of crescent wrenches, a screwdriver for the hose clamps (usually flathead), and some teflon tape. you might also want a hook to hang the sprayer on the wall; i just used a large cup hook that i bent a bit more open with a pair of pliers. i thought about taking pictures while i was making this, but i was so excited to get it done that i just did it.
using a hacksaw, cut the supply line in half. cut the fitting end off the kitchen sprayer assembly as close as possible to the fitting (you want as much tubing as possible), and then cut the tubing again about six inches down from the spray nozzle. you will end up with a spray nozzle with a short bit of tubing attached, and a long piece of tubing with nothing on either end.
slide a loosened hose clamp onto one of the supply line pieces, then work one end of the tee barb into the hose. do the same for the other side of the supply line and tighten the clamps with the screwdriver.
wrap the threaded ends of the barb adapters with teflon tape, then slide a loosened hose clamp onto the tubing attached to the spray nozzle. work the barb end of one adapter into the tubing, then tighten the clamp. do the same for one end of the rest of the tubing, then slide a hose clamp onto the other end, work it onto the third end of the tee barb, and tighten the clamp.
screw one end of the ball valve onto one of the threaded ends of the barb adapters in the sprayer tubing and tighten with the wrenches. you will need two wrenches, one to hold the tubing and one to tighten the valve. do the same to connect the other end of the ball valve to the sprayer tubing.
now your assembly is complete and you just need to reinstall your jury-rigged supply line back onto the water line and the toilet tank.
turn the water back on a little and open the valve, then spray the sprayer. you will probably need to play with the valve to see how much water pressure you need to spray your diapers.
the purpose of the ball valve is to prevent constant water pressue on the kitchen sprayer. the sprayer is just plastic and i did not want anything in the sprayer to fail and cause a flood. when the red lever is sticking out, the valve is closed; i just line up the lever with the tubing to open the valve and "turn on" the sprayer.
you can see i just screwed that mug hook into the wall to hold the sprayer. apparently this is also good for rinsing kiddos while they are taking a bath, though the water is not heated so i don't see why you'd want to spray your kids with freezing cold water. personally i think this will also be awesome for spraying down the tub/shower when i'm cleaning it.
all total this project took me about twenty minutes from start to finish.
i know it isn't a huge thing, building and installing this sprayer, but if you would like to come to my house and marvel at my handiwork you're more than welcome to!!
update: i used it for the first time last week and it works GREAT!! yay! also, i was thinking - this is a very easy thing to take with you if you move. just shut off the water to the toilet, take off the jury-rigged supply line/sprayer assembly, and reinstall a new (uncut) supply line. you could also easily install one in an apartment, just like you would your favorite showerhead.
cross-posted at éireann
this one is from pottypail.com. it retails for $34 plus $6 s&h and you still have to do some assembly/installation. mine was cheaper and required minimal additional effort.
i actually did not use jaimey's instructions, i just could not understand them. sorry jaimey! the general idea is about the same though (i think) and there is a great video tutorial here. first, shut off the water at the main valve behind the toilet, and flush the toilet once or twice to drain the tank. then disconnect the supply line from the tank and the water pipe. you will need a flexible supply line to install your diaper sprayer; you might have to look for a toilet in your home that has a flexible line. i put ours in the upstairs bathroom closest to hannah's room.
you will need two 3/8" barb adapters; one 3/8" x 3/8" x 3/8" tee barb connector; five 1/4" - 5/8" hose clamps; one kitchen sprayer assembly; and one ball valve. the ball valve should be either 1/4" or 3/8", depending on the size of the threaded end (MIP) of the barb adapters. i got 1/4" because the 3/8" valve looked bulkier. also, you may want to measure your toilet supply line to be sure that you don't need a 1/2" tee barb connector, but apparently only about 5% of homes in america have 1/2" connectors.
you will also need a hacksaw or a small hand saw, a couple monkey wrenches or a set of crescent wrenches, a screwdriver for the hose clamps (usually flathead), and some teflon tape. you might also want a hook to hang the sprayer on the wall; i just used a large cup hook that i bent a bit more open with a pair of pliers. i thought about taking pictures while i was making this, but i was so excited to get it done that i just did it.
using a hacksaw, cut the supply line in half. cut the fitting end off the kitchen sprayer assembly as close as possible to the fitting (you want as much tubing as possible), and then cut the tubing again about six inches down from the spray nozzle. you will end up with a spray nozzle with a short bit of tubing attached, and a long piece of tubing with nothing on either end.
slide a loosened hose clamp onto one of the supply line pieces, then work one end of the tee barb into the hose. do the same for the other side of the supply line and tighten the clamps with the screwdriver.
wrap the threaded ends of the barb adapters with teflon tape, then slide a loosened hose clamp onto the tubing attached to the spray nozzle. work the barb end of one adapter into the tubing, then tighten the clamp. do the same for one end of the rest of the tubing, then slide a hose clamp onto the other end, work it onto the third end of the tee barb, and tighten the clamp.
screw one end of the ball valve onto one of the threaded ends of the barb adapters in the sprayer tubing and tighten with the wrenches. you will need two wrenches, one to hold the tubing and one to tighten the valve. do the same to connect the other end of the ball valve to the sprayer tubing.
now your assembly is complete and you just need to reinstall your jury-rigged supply line back onto the water line and the toilet tank.
turn the water back on a little and open the valve, then spray the sprayer. you will probably need to play with the valve to see how much water pressure you need to spray your diapers.
the purpose of the ball valve is to prevent constant water pressue on the kitchen sprayer. the sprayer is just plastic and i did not want anything in the sprayer to fail and cause a flood. when the red lever is sticking out, the valve is closed; i just line up the lever with the tubing to open the valve and "turn on" the sprayer.
you can see i just screwed that mug hook into the wall to hold the sprayer. apparently this is also good for rinsing kiddos while they are taking a bath, though the water is not heated so i don't see why you'd want to spray your kids with freezing cold water. personally i think this will also be awesome for spraying down the tub/shower when i'm cleaning it.
all total this project took me about twenty minutes from start to finish.
i know it isn't a huge thing, building and installing this sprayer, but if you would like to come to my house and marvel at my handiwork you're more than welcome to!!
update: i used it for the first time last week and it works GREAT!! yay! also, i was thinking - this is a very easy thing to take with you if you move. just shut off the water to the toilet, take off the jury-rigged supply line/sprayer assembly, and reinstall a new (uncut) supply line. you could also easily install one in an apartment, just like you would your favorite showerhead.
cross-posted at éireann
Saturday, November 7, 2009
who ever heard of a kid who DIDN'T like sugar.
and so it begins, the end of hannah's babyhood. (actually, every little milestone to me is another little bit of the end of her babyhood.) dum dah dum dum: solids!
which is such a joke, right? i mean, if her food were ACTUALLY solid, it might stay in her mouth, instead of dribble out the corners and get smeared all over her eyebrows.
we started with rice cereal two weeks ago: no luck, she hates it. i've heard this is typical, not that i exactly see why, i mixed it with breastmilk, her favorite - and i even tried it, and it was not so bad. better than oatmeal in my humble opinion, not that MY opinion matters much because it's not going into MY mouth. she did not like it thick, she did not like it thin, she did not like it in-between. we have tried multiple times since introducing other foods and she still grimaces as if she is eating poo.
bananas, i thought! bananas will be better! so sweet and sugary, who can resist a banana. (well, me - i don't like bananas personally, but still. it's not going into MY mouth.) i've heard it takes about ten tastes to start to actually develop a liking for a food, but after about the fifteenth try she still looks at me like, "really, mama? bananas? why do you hate me?" and spits them out.
and yes, i've heard the trick where you hold the spoon in the baby's mouth, on top of her tongue, so she learns to eat off the spoon. every time we do that she pulls her tongue back and gags herself and we end up in a screaming fit, which is not a pleasant way to conduct feedings, so we're skipping that part for the moment. could my baby be a bit of a drama queen? NOT OUTSIDE THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY.
speaking of poo, WOW, her diapers. i thought they were bad before, when we hit about the 4-month mark, but those were butterflies and rainbows compared to these diapers. WHOA NELLY, girl can poop.
all things considered, bananas were hated less than rice cereal, and squash was hated even less than bananas. i think she actually kind of liked the squash. so far green beans seem to be successful also. maybe my daughter will be a vegetarian with no sweet tooth? one can only hope.
update: because her poop is more solid now and no longer as washable as breastfeeding poop, i made a diaper sprayer so i don't have to swish her soakers in the toilet bowl. it was very easy and inexpensive. see my tutorial here.
which is such a joke, right? i mean, if her food were ACTUALLY solid, it might stay in her mouth, instead of dribble out the corners and get smeared all over her eyebrows.
we started with rice cereal two weeks ago: no luck, she hates it. i've heard this is typical, not that i exactly see why, i mixed it with breastmilk, her favorite - and i even tried it, and it was not so bad. better than oatmeal in my humble opinion, not that MY opinion matters much because it's not going into MY mouth. she did not like it thick, she did not like it thin, she did not like it in-between. we have tried multiple times since introducing other foods and she still grimaces as if she is eating poo.
bananas, i thought! bananas will be better! so sweet and sugary, who can resist a banana. (well, me - i don't like bananas personally, but still. it's not going into MY mouth.) i've heard it takes about ten tastes to start to actually develop a liking for a food, but after about the fifteenth try she still looks at me like, "really, mama? bananas? why do you hate me?" and spits them out.
and yes, i've heard the trick where you hold the spoon in the baby's mouth, on top of her tongue, so she learns to eat off the spoon. every time we do that she pulls her tongue back and gags herself and we end up in a screaming fit, which is not a pleasant way to conduct feedings, so we're skipping that part for the moment. could my baby be a bit of a drama queen? NOT OUTSIDE THE REALM OF POSSIBILITY.
speaking of poo, WOW, her diapers. i thought they were bad before, when we hit about the 4-month mark, but those were butterflies and rainbows compared to these diapers. WHOA NELLY, girl can poop.
all things considered, bananas were hated less than rice cereal, and squash was hated even less than bananas. i think she actually kind of liked the squash. so far green beans seem to be successful also. maybe my daughter will be a vegetarian with no sweet tooth? one can only hope.
update: because her poop is more solid now and no longer as washable as breastfeeding poop, i made a diaper sprayer so i don't have to swish her soakers in the toilet bowl. it was very easy and inexpensive. see my tutorial here.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
am a working girl once again
i started back at work yesterday and let me tell you, WORKING SUCKS. there are a multitude of reasons that would be inappropriate to discuss here, but largely WORKING SUCKS because i have to leave my kiddo to be babysat by another mommy, while i go babysit my clients. what is wrong with this picture?
also, WORKING SUCKS because pumping at work sucks. pumping at work sucks not only because of my somewhat ignorant colleagues who felt that i ought to be able to pump in the bathroom instead of the break room. since i did not feel like enlightening them on the finer points of the law and my legal right to be provided a space, i just told them it was illegal for me to pummp in the bathroom because it is unsanitary. good Lord. i mean, i actually had to remind my boss that he wouldn't eat lunch in the bathroom, so i shouldn't have to prepare the kiddo's lunch there either.
pumping largely sucks because of the aforementioned leaving my kiddo. sure, i pump every morning anyways, so i'm no stranger to my breast pump. we're good friends. but there is a HUGE difference between pumping for a good cause and pumping because your kiddo is in daycare. so yeah, it sucks.
all of this has just strengthened my resolve to get our life straightened out so i can be a sahm. brian too... he actually checked her last night for bruises. bruises! as if i would send her to a daycare that might abuse her! still, he says he worries because someone - anyone - other than me is taking care of her. so hopefully i'll get to be sahm soon. this daycare thing is breaking my heart every day.
also, WORKING SUCKS because pumping at work sucks. pumping at work sucks not only because of my somewhat ignorant colleagues who felt that i ought to be able to pump in the bathroom instead of the break room. since i did not feel like enlightening them on the finer points of the law and my legal right to be provided a space, i just told them it was illegal for me to pummp in the bathroom because it is unsanitary. good Lord. i mean, i actually had to remind my boss that he wouldn't eat lunch in the bathroom, so i shouldn't have to prepare the kiddo's lunch there either.
pumping largely sucks because of the aforementioned leaving my kiddo. sure, i pump every morning anyways, so i'm no stranger to my breast pump. we're good friends. but there is a HUGE difference between pumping for a good cause and pumping because your kiddo is in daycare. so yeah, it sucks.
all of this has just strengthened my resolve to get our life straightened out so i can be a sahm. brian too... he actually checked her last night for bruises. bruises! as if i would send her to a daycare that might abuse her! still, he says he worries because someone - anyone - other than me is taking care of her. so hopefully i'll get to be sahm soon. this daycare thing is breaking my heart every day.
Monday, August 3, 2009
in which i give away hannah's lifeblood
i just sent off my first milk donation, approximately 220 ounces (44 5-ounce bags) which is everything i had in my freezer from june and july. i am so excited to have done this and cannot wait for next month when i can send off another batch, whatever extra i pump during august.
brian did not exactly understand why i would donate milk and who would need it. i explained that it could save a baby's life, because there are babies who have been abandoned at birth or whose mothers die (heaven forbid); mothers who are seriously ill with things like cancer, aids, or hepatitis, or have other health issues that prevent them from nursing their babies; premature or sick infants who need breastmilk but for whatever reason cannot get it from their mothers. there are mothers who have multiples, especially higher-order multiples, who simply cannot produce enough milk to adequately feed their babies. i pointed out to him that if something were to happen to me (heaven forbid), i would want hannah to continue to be "breastfed" with donor milk, because i strongly believe that is the best thing for her.
if you have the ability, please consider donating yourself. it's easy, painless, and can save a baby's life.
brian did not exactly understand why i would donate milk and who would need it. i explained that it could save a baby's life, because there are babies who have been abandoned at birth or whose mothers die (heaven forbid); mothers who are seriously ill with things like cancer, aids, or hepatitis, or have other health issues that prevent them from nursing their babies; premature or sick infants who need breastmilk but for whatever reason cannot get it from their mothers. there are mothers who have multiples, especially higher-order multiples, who simply cannot produce enough milk to adequately feed their babies. i pointed out to him that if something were to happen to me (heaven forbid), i would want hannah to continue to be "breastfed" with donor milk, because i strongly believe that is the best thing for her.
if you have the ability, please consider donating yourself. it's easy, painless, and can save a baby's life.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
donate!
i'm becoming a milk donor!
i'm very excited. i've always wanted to donate blood; i appreciate the need but can't get past the needle aspect. i've always had a donor sticker on my driver's license. now, i recently found out about milk donation - something i can do easily and painlessly. yippee!
we're just at the beginning - it seems to be quite a process. i had to get pre-screened and then fill out an application and get my ob and hannah's pediatrician to sign off. once that's approved, i have to take a blood test (a smaller needle and for less time than donating blood). once that comes back clear, they'll send me the supplies i need to donate the milk. it's a kind of reverse mail-order process, which is fortunate since we're about 100 miles away from the actual bank and i wouldn't relish the drive if i had to drop it off in person. i don't see why they wouldn't accept me as a donor. i'm perfectly healthy with an uneventful medical history (except for the craziness getting hannah born). i don't have any communicable diseases, or even any uncommunicable ones. as far as i can tell, i'm exactly what they're looking for.
if you have the ability, i strongly encourage you to consider milk donation yourself. it can help a baby live!
i'm very excited. i've always wanted to donate blood; i appreciate the need but can't get past the needle aspect. i've always had a donor sticker on my driver's license. now, i recently found out about milk donation - something i can do easily and painlessly. yippee!
we're just at the beginning - it seems to be quite a process. i had to get pre-screened and then fill out an application and get my ob and hannah's pediatrician to sign off. once that's approved, i have to take a blood test (a smaller needle and for less time than donating blood). once that comes back clear, they'll send me the supplies i need to donate the milk. it's a kind of reverse mail-order process, which is fortunate since we're about 100 miles away from the actual bank and i wouldn't relish the drive if i had to drop it off in person. i don't see why they wouldn't accept me as a donor. i'm perfectly healthy with an uneventful medical history (except for the craziness getting hannah born). i don't have any communicable diseases, or even any uncommunicable ones. as far as i can tell, i'm exactly what they're looking for.
if you have the ability, i strongly encourage you to consider milk donation yourself. it can help a baby live!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
breast vs. formula (my experience thus far)
only 8 days old and already life with hannah is an adventure. we had our two-day checkup on friday (15) afternoon and it turns out she is losing weight. we knew this already and that night began supplementing with a little bit of formula. i did not want my baby to be formula-fed but i wanted her admitted even less, which is what the pediatrician needed to do if her weight did not turn around fast.
i was kind of feeling discouraged and all about the whole breastfeeding thing anyways. i am not planning on giving up... just discouraged. i did not make it through 12 hours of HARD labor with no drugs just to complain about a couple sore nipples. besides we don't have the money to throw away on formula all the time. i am planning/hoping to breastfeed for a year or longer if i can. besides i did not have problems with engorgement when my milk came in thank the Lord, so how could i throw away THAT gift and decide to go to formula?
i honestly did not know what was wrong when i started feeding and it hurt. all the classes and books and websites say breastfeeding should not hurt, if it does you are doing something wrong. and it didn't hurt, at least not right away. but by thursday (14) when we went home from the hosptal it did. i told the lactation lady who came in to my room to help me before we left, and she helped but it still hurt. i didn't tell her though, i felt like it must be me if she was making the latch and standing over me making sure i was doing it right and it still hurt. now i think maybe she didn't know well enough what she was doing. then we went for our 2-day appointment with the doctor - usually that one is with a nurse practitioner so she can be sure you are feeding properly because pediatric doctors don't get a lot of training in breastfeeding but pediatric nurse practicioners do for some reason. that was when we found out hannah was SO down on weight, and the doctor recommended supplementing with a little formula. all babies lose some of their birth weight but hannah had lost a lot. 14 oz. in 4 days which was 12% of her birthweight and the doctors do not want to see more than 7% lost. they were ready to admit her if something did not turn around asap which is why the pediatrician suggested supplementation. i did not want to because i did not want her to get used to the (easy) bottle nipple and then not want to suck from mama, because boob sucking is harder than bottle sucking.
(aside: did you ever think i'd be discussing "boob sucking?" i never thought "boob" would become such a "normal" part of my vocabulary, personally.)
so brian went and got some formula. i had him get the liquid kind, smallest bottle he could, because i did not want to mix powders and i thought she might take it better than powder anyways. like how chocolate milk you buy in a refrigerated carton is WAY better than chocolate milk you make from powder. we had a coupon but still, i do not even want to know how much it cost. the liquid formula is more expensive than the powder so it must have been like gold.
we only gave her one ounce on friday night but she did not feed well when i tried later that night. THAT was discouraging, but i did not know then that formula keeps them fuller longer. i think it probably has more calories and less water. (because you can give a formula baby a teeny bit of water in the summer when it is so hot, but you can't a bf baby because they get all the fluids they need from breastmilk and can get an electrolyte imbalance.) it was nice that night to give my boobs a break - and then that night my milk came in. other than that she fed fine and when the nurse practitioner saw her on saturday (16) she had put on 3.5 oz. overnight. she said, otherwise how are things going? and i grabbed my boobs and said, sore, the usual, but otherwise fine. she said, would you like me to show you how to breastfeed her without it hurting AT ALL?
well heck, lady, when you put it like that... does the sun rise in the east?
she said usually babies have the reflex down okay but sometimes they don't know exactly what to do, and moms sure don't, so don't beat yourself up over it. i guess whatever she was doing was pulling on my nipple which caused the soreness and also the cracking/bleeding at the end. and she is not supposed to do that, but f she is not latched on properly sh will in order to get enough milk. i am still not quite sure what is different except in how i hold her back now, but i can feel she is not pulling on me and the cracking/bleeding is all healed on one side and almost all healed on the other. and let me tell you it is so nice to be able to feed your kid without dreading it. except that now i dread it at night because it means less sleep.
we gave her another ounce of formula sunday (17) night. she had another checkup with the pediatrician yesterday, and she had put on another 3 ounces! the doctor said if we only gave her 2 ounces formula and she gained 6.5 ounces in 3 days, that is DEFINITELY my milk (my milk had not yet come in when we first saw the pediatrician on friday) and good breastfeeding. i could sure tell when my milk came in. it is nice to know that for sure i have enough for her because she is putting on weight.
so now there is the rest of a 24-ounce bottle of similac in my fridge and can I tell you how tempting it is at 3 am? breastfed babies only sleep about 2-3 hours at a stretch because breastmilk is so easily digested and they are that hungry sooner. formula babies sleep 4+ hrs at a stretch i guess. and last night, like the night before and the night before that, I could NOT for the life of me get her to sleep in her pack & play. i personally was fine with her sleeping on my chest but brian did NOT want that because what if she rolled off, and i was sleeping HARD at that point so i would not necessarily wake up and notice. he had a point so i tried not to sleep with her on me but often i just dozed off, because when i'd put her in the pack & play (asleep) she would wake up and cry, LOUD. i finally got her to last night, yay me! brian stayed up with me to give me some moral support since it's not like he can feed her. but then about 230 am she was awake again and we heated up about 1/2 ounce of formula hoping it would be little enough to not affect her feeding and big enough to get her to sleep a little extra. we caved. i think she slept about 2 hours (in her crib! or maybe on brian?) and man did i need that. i'm such a better mommy when i have some slep under my belt.
i was kind of feeling discouraged and all about the whole breastfeeding thing anyways. i am not planning on giving up... just discouraged. i did not make it through 12 hours of HARD labor with no drugs just to complain about a couple sore nipples. besides we don't have the money to throw away on formula all the time. i am planning/hoping to breastfeed for a year or longer if i can. besides i did not have problems with engorgement when my milk came in thank the Lord, so how could i throw away THAT gift and decide to go to formula?
i honestly did not know what was wrong when i started feeding and it hurt. all the classes and books and websites say breastfeeding should not hurt, if it does you are doing something wrong. and it didn't hurt, at least not right away. but by thursday (14) when we went home from the hosptal it did. i told the lactation lady who came in to my room to help me before we left, and she helped but it still hurt. i didn't tell her though, i felt like it must be me if she was making the latch and standing over me making sure i was doing it right and it still hurt. now i think maybe she didn't know well enough what she was doing. then we went for our 2-day appointment with the doctor - usually that one is with a nurse practitioner so she can be sure you are feeding properly because pediatric doctors don't get a lot of training in breastfeeding but pediatric nurse practicioners do for some reason. that was when we found out hannah was SO down on weight, and the doctor recommended supplementing with a little formula. all babies lose some of their birth weight but hannah had lost a lot. 14 oz. in 4 days which was 12% of her birthweight and the doctors do not want to see more than 7% lost. they were ready to admit her if something did not turn around asap which is why the pediatrician suggested supplementation. i did not want to because i did not want her to get used to the (easy) bottle nipple and then not want to suck from mama, because boob sucking is harder than bottle sucking.
(aside: did you ever think i'd be discussing "boob sucking?" i never thought "boob" would become such a "normal" part of my vocabulary, personally.)
so brian went and got some formula. i had him get the liquid kind, smallest bottle he could, because i did not want to mix powders and i thought she might take it better than powder anyways. like how chocolate milk you buy in a refrigerated carton is WAY better than chocolate milk you make from powder. we had a coupon but still, i do not even want to know how much it cost. the liquid formula is more expensive than the powder so it must have been like gold.
we only gave her one ounce on friday night but she did not feed well when i tried later that night. THAT was discouraging, but i did not know then that formula keeps them fuller longer. i think it probably has more calories and less water. (because you can give a formula baby a teeny bit of water in the summer when it is so hot, but you can't a bf baby because they get all the fluids they need from breastmilk and can get an electrolyte imbalance.) it was nice that night to give my boobs a break - and then that night my milk came in. other than that she fed fine and when the nurse practitioner saw her on saturday (16) she had put on 3.5 oz. overnight. she said, otherwise how are things going? and i grabbed my boobs and said, sore, the usual, but otherwise fine. she said, would you like me to show you how to breastfeed her without it hurting AT ALL?
well heck, lady, when you put it like that... does the sun rise in the east?
she said usually babies have the reflex down okay but sometimes they don't know exactly what to do, and moms sure don't, so don't beat yourself up over it. i guess whatever she was doing was pulling on my nipple which caused the soreness and also the cracking/bleeding at the end. and she is not supposed to do that, but f she is not latched on properly sh will in order to get enough milk. i am still not quite sure what is different except in how i hold her back now, but i can feel she is not pulling on me and the cracking/bleeding is all healed on one side and almost all healed on the other. and let me tell you it is so nice to be able to feed your kid without dreading it. except that now i dread it at night because it means less sleep.
we gave her another ounce of formula sunday (17) night. she had another checkup with the pediatrician yesterday, and she had put on another 3 ounces! the doctor said if we only gave her 2 ounces formula and she gained 6.5 ounces in 3 days, that is DEFINITELY my milk (my milk had not yet come in when we first saw the pediatrician on friday) and good breastfeeding. i could sure tell when my milk came in. it is nice to know that for sure i have enough for her because she is putting on weight.
so now there is the rest of a 24-ounce bottle of similac in my fridge and can I tell you how tempting it is at 3 am? breastfed babies only sleep about 2-3 hours at a stretch because breastmilk is so easily digested and they are that hungry sooner. formula babies sleep 4+ hrs at a stretch i guess. and last night, like the night before and the night before that, I could NOT for the life of me get her to sleep in her pack & play. i personally was fine with her sleeping on my chest but brian did NOT want that because what if she rolled off, and i was sleeping HARD at that point so i would not necessarily wake up and notice. he had a point so i tried not to sleep with her on me but often i just dozed off, because when i'd put her in the pack & play (asleep) she would wake up and cry, LOUD. i finally got her to last night, yay me! brian stayed up with me to give me some moral support since it's not like he can feed her. but then about 230 am she was awake again and we heated up about 1/2 ounce of formula hoping it would be little enough to not affect her feeding and big enough to get her to sleep a little extra. we caved. i think she slept about 2 hours (in her crib! or maybe on brian?) and man did i need that. i'm such a better mommy when i have some slep under my belt.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
nesting like nobody's business
and the nursery is FINALLY done! well, except for one piece of artwork, but that can certainly wait. i love her room:
this is what i did for my birthday: hung the shelf over her dresser, painted and assembled the shelves in her closet, set up the pack & play downstairs, and cooked like a madwoman. i also did laundry and some light cleaning, the usual weekend chores. my coworkers also took me out to lunch on friday and brian took me to lunch on saturday. we are both pretty beat lately, him from work and me from being pregnant, that neither one of us had the energy to make a big to-do for my birthday. i didn't really mind because of all those things that were nagging at me to get done before the kiddo arrives, and i'm generally happiest working on a project or six. thank heavens for this manic nesting energy or nothing would be done.
my freezer is also (i hope) fully stocked for the next few weeks. brian does not cook at all and while he can happily eat fast food and take-out for every meal, i would prefer something healthier and home-cooked. now in my freezer there are currently three turkey dinners (turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables), six turkey pot pies, three bacon & leek quiches, two lasagnas (including a vegetarian one in case kiddo is here when my sister comes over), and one dish of stuffed shells. this is in addition to our usual assortment of chicken, ham, steak, fish, and frozen vegetables that i can pull out and thaw at a moment's notice. my mother told me that when i was born, she and my father ate from their freezer for six weeks. dad only had to go to the store for milk and lettuce. six weeks is a lot to live up to, i don't know if we will make it that far, but i'm trying. so now all brian has to do is take something out of the freezer in the morning, leave it to defrost, and stick it in the oven. i even wrote instructions on the labels.
i'm sure i could find more to do, but i think i'm going to go put my feet up with a good book or watch a movie. besides, brian is bringing me home a baskin robbins milkshake and i don't want to miss that.
we are at: 38 weeks 6 days.
cross-posted at éireann
this is what i did for my birthday: hung the shelf over her dresser, painted and assembled the shelves in her closet, set up the pack & play downstairs, and cooked like a madwoman. i also did laundry and some light cleaning, the usual weekend chores. my coworkers also took me out to lunch on friday and brian took me to lunch on saturday. we are both pretty beat lately, him from work and me from being pregnant, that neither one of us had the energy to make a big to-do for my birthday. i didn't really mind because of all those things that were nagging at me to get done before the kiddo arrives, and i'm generally happiest working on a project or six. thank heavens for this manic nesting energy or nothing would be done.
my freezer is also (i hope) fully stocked for the next few weeks. brian does not cook at all and while he can happily eat fast food and take-out for every meal, i would prefer something healthier and home-cooked. now in my freezer there are currently three turkey dinners (turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables), six turkey pot pies, three bacon & leek quiches, two lasagnas (including a vegetarian one in case kiddo is here when my sister comes over), and one dish of stuffed shells. this is in addition to our usual assortment of chicken, ham, steak, fish, and frozen vegetables that i can pull out and thaw at a moment's notice. my mother told me that when i was born, she and my father ate from their freezer for six weeks. dad only had to go to the store for milk and lettuce. six weeks is a lot to live up to, i don't know if we will make it that far, but i'm trying. so now all brian has to do is take something out of the freezer in the morning, leave it to defrost, and stick it in the oven. i even wrote instructions on the labels.
i'm sure i could find more to do, but i think i'm going to go put my feet up with a good book or watch a movie. besides, brian is bringing me home a baskin robbins milkshake and i don't want to miss that.
we are at: 38 weeks 6 days.
cross-posted at éireann
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
wherein boobs are discussed, but not at great length.
weekly checkup was today, very quick. kiddo's heartbeat is a nice strong 140 beats per minute and my blood pressure is fine.
brian has been bugging me lately to get the hospital bag packed. he asked me last night, do you want to bring a deck of cards with us? i said, do you honestly think we'll have time to play cards? he said, i might be bored. i said, i think will be keeping you pretty busy with the whole BIRTHING A BABY thing.
we (possibly just me) have a breastfeeding class tonight. this morning at the doctor they had me fill out a quick little questionnaire about my boobs in general and breastfeeding in particular. since i've never had a kiddo it was pretty easy, lots of no's. the very first question kind of threw me, though: have your breasts changed size since you became pregnant? of course they have. they are monsters attached to my chest, rivaled only in size by my stomach. there was a box to check to say "increased in size" or a box to say "stayed the same." WHOSE BOOBS STAY THE SAME SIZE DURING PREGNANCY?
brian has been bugging me lately to get the hospital bag packed. he asked me last night, do you want to bring a deck of cards with us? i said, do you honestly think we'll have time to play cards? he said, i might be bored. i said, i think will be keeping you pretty busy with the whole BIRTHING A BABY thing.
we (possibly just me) have a breastfeeding class tonight. this morning at the doctor they had me fill out a quick little questionnaire about my boobs in general and breastfeeding in particular. since i've never had a kiddo it was pretty easy, lots of no's. the very first question kind of threw me, though: have your breasts changed size since you became pregnant? of course they have. they are monsters attached to my chest, rivaled only in size by my stomach. there was a box to check to say "increased in size" or a box to say "stayed the same." WHOSE BOOBS STAY THE SAME SIZE DURING PREGNANCY?
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